Posts Tagged ‘Julianne Moore’

Oscars 2015 – Alice’s yearly fashion (or lack there of) rave

February 24, 2015

OSCARS SMOSCERS
Well quite frankly what a lot blahhhhh the Oscars were this year. The fashion was blah, the host was blahhhh and the whole vibe (except for Ga Ga doing Sound of Music which was the ONLY highlight) was just – well…..blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So where were the big stars? No George, no Brad, no Jack, no Leo…..no Julia, no Jennifer Lawrence – for god sake no bloody Cameron Diaz???? – that girl usually turns up at the opening of an envelope…and when was the last movie JLo was in? Why was she front row? Mind you her dress was one of the only beacons of hope…but I digress.
Big ugly statement necklaces are obviously in as are Marie Antoinette flat panel fronts, flamenco tails and 80s bling bling earings….Maxi dress straps, midriffs (front and rear), centre parts showing unbleached roots….god the whole thing was a traversty. I feel like I was watching the freaking brownlow and not the Oscars…and dare I say it…some of those footy slags looked better than these Stars. Only one thing made me a little teeny wee bit happy and that was the rise of the architectural bang (for my buck).
Colours – well what do you know …lots of white (horrendous night for white dresses…fails on all fronts I think….I will flesh out later), black (blahhhhh – Cate Cate Cate), nude (Jennifer Aniston wearing version 105 of same dress) and red (I’ll get on to that). Green and blue made a good appearance this year – from teal to emerald with seaweed in between. Midnight blue flirted with us….and we always love a bit of midnight blue. Only a touch of blush (caramel and blush are a marriage made in heaven…just sayin) and very little metalics (which is a shame cos I loves me a bit of metal on the carpet).
To begin with was that skeletor or Juliana Rancid? She used to be a chuppa chup before (big head little body syndrome) but now…well now she is the walking dead. The dress does photograph quite well but on screen she looked very in need of some food.

 

Skeletor Juliana Rancid

Skeletor Juliana Rancid

 

 

I’ve said it once and I’ll no doubt say it again…if you are going to wear red on the carpet (pretty large competition going on there!) then KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID…architectural, elegant, modern – not some glitzy, lacy, prom inspired 80s mother of the bride get up. We had a few huge fails on the red dress front but one that SHONE like a beacon of light in the heavy LA rain. Who knows who the hell she is but Mr Cumberbatch is punching well above his weight….she’s up the duff and as a result had to go commando bless her….it’s got a bit of the Liz Hurley safety pin dress about it but it looks gorgeous…

Mrs Cumberbatch going commando with baby in the oven

Mrs Cumberbatch going commando with baby in the oven

Some other reds weren’t too bad…Miss fiddy shades came up alright in St Laurent

Fiddy Shades

Fiddy Shades

Pity about her mum…but that’s another story
Fails were everywhere but here are just a couple of klangers….

Resting Bitch Face

Resting Bitch Face

Rosamund Pike or as I like to call her “Resting Bitch Face”…there’s the Marie Antoinette front again …just a bit too much going on…wispy hair not quite right…amazing post baby body though…I’ll pay her that.

Bat Girl

Bat Girl

Is that a bat or Adam Levine’s wife? OMG confetti ….and there’s the rise of the ugly centre part again.
Ok on to the debacle that was white….just take a look

Ladies in White God Help Us

Ladies in White God Help Us

Cockroach Chic

Cockroach Chic

It’s a sad day when the best dressed in the bunch is Reese Witheringonaspoon. I’m not sure if she was trying to look like a licorice all sort but the black and white thing is a little Derby day for mine. The silhouette suits her and makes her look lovely and long (lots of lovely and long silhouette action this eve…thankgod that fishtail is finally exiting stage left…except for Rita Ora of course) but that HAIR is wrong.com. At least get your roots done darl and wash your hair pre centre parting it. Oh and another thing…don’t wear white to two awards ceremonies in one season! Nice makeup tho. Kerry Washington is just DULL. Marion looks like she is wearing a sanitary pad and trying to channel a bit of Celine Dion reverse tuxedo chic. Lupito – now there was a shock! Lets face it…she been rockin those red carpets for the last 2 years in all manner of gorgeousness….but this Pearl number looked like someone just kept putting on more pearls hoping it would all work out in the end….ahhh it didn’t. For me the most depressing fail was Julianne Moore – I mean yes she can be a bit hit or miss but generally she is edgy, addicted to fabulous colour and va va va vooooooom. Alas on the most important night of her life she looked like she had (as Juliana put it) cockroaches attached to her dress…..Karl made it for her especially….he must have misplaced his glasses and thought the cockroaches on the floor were jewels….HORRENDOUS…flat front Marie Antoinette again, does nothing for her waste and white on whiter than white skin????? Oh dear a little bit of bile just came up in my mouth.
Greens….well only Emma Stone could get away with seaweed green (aka snot on day 4 of your cold)…ok I know its technically Chatreuse and it is an amazing colour on her and onya love for standing out (coz not a lot did) but it did look a little like she’d taken a swim in a fishtank and brought a bit of the weed and sea cucumber along with her….great hair though and FABULOUS lips…

Seaweed Couture

Seaweed Couture

Speaking of sea monsters – Scarlet Scarlet Scarlet…seriously what was that hanging around your neck? Gorgeous colour but well that’s about it….so wrong I just don’t know where to star…Odd choice ….ODD…sack your stylist if you even have one

wrong.com

wrong.com

I could just go on for days about some of the looks that made my eyes BLEED….however, I need to get a move along so I’ll mention just a few….

Madam Tussaud Chic

Madam Tussaud Chic

Nicole Kidman wearing ….um….not sure really….is it yellow? Is it white? Is it VILE….yes! Very Madam Tussaud chic don’t you think….did she just wheel in her wax self for the evening….and as for the clutch? REALLY? Bad hair, bad dress, bad bad bad….which brings me to her bestie….

Boob Toob Couture

Boob Toob Couture

Naomi Watts in WHAT I ask. Look I do love this textured fabric but that’s where the love ends…a boob tube? Really? And maxi dress straps? Really? At the Oscars? NQR

No excuses

No excuses

No surprises here….I don’t care if you are pregnant – there is no excuse for wearing this.

Tandoori Couture

Tandoori Couture

Shoulder corsage? Tandoori couture? Roots an issue AGAIN, blotchy spray tan, baby pink (coz that worked out so well for you last time…..) …Gwyneth is just hit or miss at these events….and this is a miss for me …eventhough I do love me a bit of GOOP

Now on to the slackers section – yes you know who you are….couldn’t be bothered eh….well back on your bike and make a better effort next year….

Roots and Necklace - Just sayin

Roots and Necklace – Just sayin

note the roots and the ugly necklace

snore

snore

whatever!

Beaded Nude Dress - How original ....NOT

Beaded Nude Dress – How original ….NOT

Yes Jennifer you look nice …. You always look nice…just bloody boring and we did notice you were too stoned to remove your toe ring!

Prom Couture

Prom Couture

Prom couture winner of the evening to this lady…

 

So enough of the bad ….and some (sadly very little) of the good….a few pats on the back well deserved…

Neckline Only - The rest is just blahhhhh

Neckline Only – The rest is just blahhhhh

Ok most of this dress is blahhhh but I did like the way this halter was done….nice neckline

Making real people feel good. Come back chic

Making real people feel good. Come back chic

Patricia Arquette making normal ladies feel good about themselves…very flattering, simple, excellent use of rucching (however you spell that). I would have liked the hair to be a bit more structured but overall a look that was age and body appropriate…..good work love

Good frock for a nugget

Good frock for a nugget

Kelly looked pretty bloody good I thought…Good dress for a nugget. The skirt balanced out her jaw line. Very sophisticated and pretty.
And now on to my two pics for the night…..Runner up and looking Gorgeous in Studio 54 inspired YSL our very own Margot Robbie – Love the 1970s vibe, the blunt bob and those LIPS…..OMG those lips….And that there is a STATEMENT necklace….1930s gorgwahhhhhh

Loving the Studio 54 Vibe

Loving the Studio 54 Vibe

And yes she did it AGAIN (and I still can’t work out why she goes to the Oscars when she hasn’t been in a film since – well at least husband #2)….
JLO rocking Elie Saab…..Ok so the boobs always look a little too on display but they are a great set so I guess you gotta give credit where its due…and yes she does love to wear a various versions of this frock…but it is heavenly and that beading is DIVINE. It’s a spot on Oscars gown and quite frankly the only decent trade of the night

All Hail Jenny from the Block - always giving us a lot!

All Hail Jenny from the Block – always giving us a lot!

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